I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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