You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
