Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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