Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
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He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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