AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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