her vagine was all disorganized.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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