think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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