xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
