i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
