apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
