In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
