I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize