How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
