so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
