Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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