Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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