Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
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Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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