It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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