I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
