from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
