She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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