I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
