i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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