I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
