last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
