it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
