i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
