Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
