So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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