are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
