i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
