My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
