I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
