Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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