It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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