Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
