Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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