next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
