Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
