he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
