How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
