Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
MIDGETS
????
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
