ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize