Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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