All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
