You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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