We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
