absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
