So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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