Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
50% drunk capacity currently
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
