im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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