Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
