So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
