singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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