1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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