She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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