Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
