Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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