no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
