Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
