i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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